Column: Attic treasure allows him to take a trip and never leave the armchair

(Editor’s Note: This story by Scott Saalman recently appeared in Next Avenue, a non-profit journalism website produced by Twin Cities PBS.)  I recently listened to an NPR news story about how National Geographic, the venerable, glossy-paged gold standard chronicler of our natural world, will no longer be purchasable on newsstands. This doesn’t mean that the magazine has…

Column: How I Broke This with Johnny ‘Hiccups’ Strombolini

HOW I BROKE THIS | EPISODE 5 | JOHNNY “HICCUPS” STROMBOLINI PODCAST INTRODUCTION: Ineptitude … Failure … Inanity … Stupidity … MURDER! … MURDER!! … MURDER!!! This is How I Broke This. SFX | CARTOONISH BROKEN SPRING: Boing. GUY: I’m Guy Razz, host of How I Broke This. Not to be confused with that other podcast by…

Column: The Sopranos Turns 25: Whaddya gonna do?

In 2019 re-watched The Sopranos. All 86 episodes. My biggest binge. Just like last decade when it aired, I couldn’t get enough Tony Soprano. I knew I was in way too deep the second time around when: Brynne: “Scott, the toilet is still running.”Scott: “Whaddya gonna do?” Brynne: “Well, you could do what you normally…

Column: New book, ‘Quietly Making Noise’ meant to make you LOL

I just published a new collection of humor columns, Quietly Making Noise, which is now available to purchase on Amazon. Below is the Introduction, titled “20 Bucks and a Byline.” I hope it encourages you to give Quietly Making Noise a spot on your nightstand or atop your toilet tank. Regarding the latter’s proposed placement,…

Column: All he wanted for Xmas was no two front teeth

“You are fettered,” said Scrooge, trembling. “Tell me why?”– Charles Dickens My father used to say, “The more keys a man has, the more worries.” Then, for emphasis, he’d shake his vast key collection at me, causing metallic smells to rush up my nose. The acrid keys seemed alive, angry, a voodoo death rattle.  His…

Column: Random act of drive-thru Parrot Head kindness

Today, I turned 59. I don’t expect too much from 59 other than being subjected to a lengthier list of physical ailments. Fifty-eight proved to be a major pain in the butt. Literally.  Currently, a physical therapist is working with me on sciatica issues. The pain in my right butt cheek is intense, making it…

She survived suicide bomber in Fallujah; three other female warriors didn’t.

It was one of the most devastating incidents in the history of women serving in the military I am a stranger to war, but four brave Americans related to me and bearing my surname have served our country. My great-great-great grandfather Sgt. Christian Saalman was a Union soldier who died of scurvy and thirst at Andersonville,…

Column: Halloween means streaming, screaming and ‘Daring the Nightmare’

I love late October, the scary time of the year, when a good horror movie casts the heaviest of shadows over the mind and spreads the iciest of chills within the spine. I love how a good horror movie worms through the creaky, cobwebby attic of my brain, causes the pulsations of the heart to…